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How to be a Calm Parent with Jennifer Kolari

October 20, 2022

How to be a calm parent and not lose your cool every day? Isn’t this the question we are all hoping to answer as busy moms? You want to be patient, present, and connected…not feel like you are losing your mind. 

Today’s guest, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought-after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really) Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting.

Jennifer’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behaviors and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Kolari’s wisdom, quick wit and down-to-earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples, as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

In today’s episode, we discuss…

  • Using compassion as medicine and bringing peace to your home
  • The trap of expecting our children to think, behave, or feel the way that we would
  • Why the CEO mindset does not work at home
  • The temptation to protect our children from all things at all costs
  • The inability for children to emotionally regulate when you remove all adversity
  • Building confidence and resilience in your children
  • When YOU believe you, they will believe you
  • Handling our children’s freak outs without our own freak outs
  • If you are working harder than your child in a tantrum “you are just fuel”
  • The concept of “adrenaline play”
  • The pillar technique of connected parenting using deep connection and language
  • Baby play and close connection
  • The C.A.L.M. technique and how it works like magic
  • Big feelings that don’t fit into little bodies

Ready to listen? Use the podcast player or listen anywhere you find your favorite podcasts. (Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!)

Rather read? Check out the show notes and episode content right here!

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Show Notes

Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #91 of The Secrets of Supermom Show! 

Did you know that we can be text message friends?! Text SUPERMOM to 623-257-MOMS (6667) to receive weekly motivation, productivity hacks, and be the first to know about all the exciting things coming for the rest of this year. 


Our episode today is a little longer than normal, but I have to tell you it is so worth it. 

You know I love to bring on specific parenting experts because so many of us struggle with patience, yelling, and even just feeling we are a good mom. 

How can you learn to be a calm parent and not lose your cool every day? You want to be patient, present, and connected…not feel like you are losing your mind. 

Our guest today is Jennifer Kolari, a highly sought-after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Jennifer is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really) Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting.

Jennifer is the host of the Connected Parenting weekly podcast and the co-host of The Mental Health Comedy Podcast. She is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and U.S. magazines, such as Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine, and Canadian Family. 

Jennifer’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behaviors and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. 

Her wisdom, quick wit and down-to-earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples, as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. 

Jennifer’s highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humor, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations, and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

I am super excited to introduce you to Jennifer!

How to be a Calm Parent with Jennifer Kolari

How to be a Calm Parent

Today we discuss…

  • Using compassion as medicine and bringing peace to your home
  • The importance of being connected as a family to your whole life
  • Why our job is to be the brain’s frontal lobe for our children before theirs is developed enough for them to do it on their own
  • The trap of expecting our children to think, behave, or feel the way that we would
  • Why being a parent is the hardest job and why we don’t talk about it
  • Why the CEO mindset does not work at home
  • A story about “gladiator” children who are spicy and feisty and always pushing against the norm
  • The temptation to protect our children from all things at all costs
  • The older your children get, the harder it is to protect them from adversity
  • The inability for children to emotionally regulate when you remove all adversity
  • Building confidence and resilience in your children
  • The concept of “standing in a canoe” and being in a place of love, not fear
  • Why your own fears will often take you off path in your parenting
  • When YOU believe you, they will believe you
  • Handling our children’s freak outs without our own freak outs
  • If you are working harder than your child in a tantrum “you are just fuel”
  • The way kids use adrenaline as a way to feel better
  • The concept of “adrenaline play”
  • The pillar technique of connected parenting using deep connection and language
  • Baby play and close connection
  • The stong impact of hunger in some children and the benefit of protein
  • The C.A.L.M. technique and how it works like magic
  • Big feelings that don’t fit into little bodies

Are you interested in finding out more about Jennifer Kolari?

Connected Parenting Website

Connected Parenting Podcast

The Connected Parenting Villiage

Jennifer Kolari on Facebook

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