I get it. You are used to being a “yes, girl”. You make things happen. You get things done. And you make other people happy in the process. Even if it means shifting your personal boundaries. Even if a yes to them means a no to you. Even if you are already exhausted and almost to capacity.
Today we are going to talk about why just because you can doesn’t mean you should take on a project, task, or ask. Not only that, we are going to talk about some key questions to ask yourself to know when the answer should definitely be a heck yes!
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Show Notes: Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should
Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #119 of The Secrets of Supermom Show and our very first Monday Momentum episode. For the month of May–and maybe longer if you guys end up loving this–I am coming at you solo every Monday to share a tip, a strategy, or a mindset that will help you get more of the right things done, be more productive, have better personal boundaries, be more efficient, and just simply start your Monday off with a bang.
You get to look forward to not only an amazing guest every week on Thursday, but more chats with me on Monday, too. When I polled you, you said you wanted more solo episodes, and I love this idea.
And! I want to hear what you think about these. If you love these episodes, send me an email shoot me a DM, or rate and review wherever you listen to your podcasts. I really can’t wait to hear what you think.
So, why Monday?
If you’ve been listening for a while, it’s no secret that I love Mondays. I love the idea of a fresh start to my week. I love getting back to a routine after a busy weekend. I love waking up early and starting my day.
A new year, a new quarter, a fresh clean planner, I love a clean start.
But, I wasn’t always that way. Mondays brought stress and other people’s fires and far more work than play. Maybe you’re feeling that way right now. Maybe you don’t like your job. Or maybe you do love your job, but the stress of the pull between work and life is often just too much and striking out balance feels almost impossible.
I want Mondays to feel like a fresh start for you, and I want you to be excited for the week ahead. I want to help you start with momentum and let that build through the whole week. Plus, I honestly believe any day is a great day to do things differently, so why not a Monday?
Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should
I am excited to kick off this new series with “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.
Possible or Actually Desirable?
Let me tell you a little story about how I used to manage my calendar. Some wonderful person would come along and ask me to do something: volunteer for something at the kid’s school, go to a party, join a club, or help them move. A coworker would ask me to cover a task at work, an executive would ask me to take on a new project, a leader would ask me to join a new initiative.
Literally, no matter what it was, from any realm of my life, I would look at my calendar and say, “Can I do this?” As in the volunteer activity is from 6 to 8pm on a Thursday night, and 6-8pm on said Thursday night is open on my calendar. Can I do this?
I didn’t ask myself if I actually wanted to do the task. I didn’t ask myself if it would be a positive addition to my life, or to my career, or to my children’s lives. I didn’t ask if it meant totally overrunning my personal boundaries or family boundaries. I simply went to my calendar and asked myself if it was possible, and that determined my answer. Have you been there?
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Competent Doesn’t Mean Required
I want to turn the table a little bit here and come to you another way with this. There are probably 1000 things you know how to do right? You can probably do most of the requirements or tasks required in your house from laundry to dishes to vacuuming. You might be able to change your own tire or replace your dryer hose. Perhaps you’ve taught yourself to tile or power wash your pool.
In that same token, you are probably wonderfully competent at lots of things in your career. You can take minutes like nobody’s business, you are a wiz at Excel, or you know your company’s software better than anyone and can pull a report fast as lightning.
Are those activities that you are fast or competent in always the best use of your time? Maybe.
But oftentimes, the answer is no. Someone else could do it better or faster or cheaper. Someone else loves that task, and you are only good at it. Being good at something doesnt mean it lights you up.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
The Disease to Please
I want to share another example that I really think drives home this point. I recently read the book How Women Rise. If you haven’t read it, and you are in a leadership position or aiming to be in one in your career, I highly recommend it. I think you’ll see yourself in it. I certainly did.
The concept of the book is to share 12 habits that often get in our way as we grow from team member to team leader, and it specifically focuses on the habits of women professionals. One of the habits is “The Disease to Please”. It talks about a woman who took on a project, just because a co-worker asked her to take it on. She realized later that he only asked her because he thought she would say yes, not because it was a way to best use her time or her talents.
Have you said yes at work just because someone asked, not because you knew it would help increase your connections or grow your skills or help you rise to the next level?
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Shiny Object Syndrome
Finally, there is absolutely a reality called shiny object syndrome. We dive into a new workout because it seems fun and our friends are doing it. We jump into a new idea for our business because all of our Instagram friends seem to think this is the one big answer to running the world. We start a new habit, like a morning routine, because everyone else seems to have one.
When you jump into something new out of fear of missing out or jealousy instead of a clear solid benefit to you, it can quickly overrun your personal boundaries and feel forced. You might realize this is not for you, but doing it for the wrong reasons wastes your time and mental energy.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Six Questions to Ask Yourself
I want to give you six questions to ask yourself before you take on a new project, say yes to an ask, try something new, or add another thing to your already very full plate.
- Does this excite me?
- Will this truly make me happy?
- Is this a path to something better in my life or career?
- When I see this on my calendar, will I dread it? Am I already glad it isn’t until tomorrow or next week or next month?
- Could someone else do this better, faster, or cheaper?
- Does taking this on mean I must give up personal boundaries, time for me, or white space on my calendar? (And if those things aren’t already there, let’s talk! I can help! Head HERE to set up time with me!)
Alright, friend, let’s make it a Monday!
Do you believe work-life balance is simply not possible with the load you carry?
I see you.
You are spending late nights and early mornings just trying to catch up.
Your to-do list feels like it gets longer by the minute.
You have your laptop with you wherever you go.
You constantly feel exhausted and drained even after the occasional good night’s sleep–if you can even squeeze in one.
You feel under pressure every day, even when you “should” be relaxing.
What if I told you there was a better way?
What if I told you that you didn’t have to choose home over work or trade one for the other?
What if there was a completely different way you could look at work-life balance that actually worked?
If you found yourself nodding along, I personally invite you to register for my free workshop where I unlock the secrets to help you achieve real work-life balance even as a crazy busy, seriously ambitious mom.
I can’t wait to show you what it’s like to have more time, less stress, and boundaries you can count on. Head to secretsofsupermom.com/balance for all the details!
